Another day in paradise...

Well, after having lived the worse 3 weeks of my life, wanting to disappear from the face of the world and all that, I am still here. As we say in the country I was born, I am "quicking the dog" today -as in angry and frustrated... poor dog.... In our case is the fricking cat, but that is another story-. I woke up, like all mornings, feeling sleepy, just to be slapped on the face by Mark's ARSE face. I took it he was having a bad morning.... :s

He was already showered, long face and muttering around... possibly abuse, but my cold is keeping my ears protected and can't hear well at the best of times.

I proceeded to go to the kitchen to prepare Arsinoe's breakfast and I "dared" asking Mark if he could give it to her... If I didn't get eaten alive was because probably he didn't fancy a greasy for breakfast  :s  I did it myself and Mark shoot off to do the washing up. (This is getting too long now....) So anyway, Mark was with an even longer face in the kitchen and about to cry. I asked what was the matter and I obviously was told he didn't know. I fully understand that we all are entitled to have bad moments/days/weeks/months but to deny it and to not share it when asked is kind of wanting to stay in the space... Despite all that I tried to make him feel better, made him a drink, gave him a cuddle... but I guess I didn't do that right -my mind was in the bedroom as Arsinoe was there on her own- because I think I managed to upset Mark more, especially when I pointed out that this is the kind of situation I mean we need more support from, for example, his parents. Our day in/day out routine would kill the strongest pf people and Mark really feels the strain of it. Is not getting better, but worse and if he had a pair of parents who actually communicated with him a bit more, talked to him rather than just ask "how are you?" and LISTEN to what Mark's got to say. Mark doesn't talk to anyone because he has never been given the chance to do so..... His parents are happy to see him once in 4 months, sometimes a lot longer.... He could do with a bit of more attention from them, visits, phonecalls..... Mark says it has never been that way because it has never been needed to be that way. That really makes my head in.... I wonder if his parents think they gave birth to a robot and he has been programmed to believe he doesn't need to be in touch with his "loved ones"?!?!?  It drives me mad!

So here we are today... My mood is absolute shite at the moment because of all of this, Mark is annoyed because I dared mentioning the bloody subject and yes, this is the way our weekends go these days. But still, we are needed to entertain Arsinoe, feed her breakfast, lunch, dinner, milkies in between, change her nappies and provide tender loving caring hugs to her all day long -we do love that- It is all exhausting, but with only me screaming for help this thing doesn't work. I mean, it takes two to tango, doesn't it?

Off back to put the bloody hoover away. I just managed to get rid of 2 inches worth of fluff and shite we had on the room's floor. I can't be arsed to do the corridor, kitchen and bathroom, so we'll probably be covered in fluff again by the end of the evening. Such is life... I wish the sun was shinning inside me as it is outside.